Archive for October, 2010

Choices for a Better Future

October 26, 2010

A lot of the recent fervor surrounding the tragic deaths of those poor bullied teens, bullied for being themselves, the big media focus was on the fact that they killed themselves, and not because of the terrifying actions that led to this result, and the awful people that carried out the extreme bullying.   Another discrepancy is this, “Six teens within the last month have commited suicide due to bullying.”  It is scary to think of but just because these six were so well publicized, it does not mean they were the only ones.  I can’t say I’m an expert on the statistics, but hate how the media makes the most important details irrelevant no matter what they report on.  Then came all of the facebook things bandying off some statistics, saying, “Every 1 in (enter number) people are gay, If you know and love someone that is gay, repost this, for the world needs to know that it is not a choice, etc. Repost this if you agree.”  I think these mean well, but miss a few important things.  One: There isn’t enough effort involved in copying and pasting, thus can very easily make one wonder at people’s sincerity in regard to such matters.  Two: The impersonality of some aspects of our so-called social networking, does not work as well for a cause, as actually being out there, telling people the way you see things, or trying to educate in order to prevent new attacks, new deaths.  So by all means post these things in your status, if you think it helps, but don’t let yourself stop there.  But there is one final discrepancy with these status messages, that made me not  post it for myself, the question of choice.  We have genetic predispositions in regard to many of our social aspects, our gender identity, sexuality, and sexual orientation, but we do make a conscious decision everyday on how to act, on what to wear on how we want the world to see us.  Being gay is a choice when you find both sexes attractive, but know you only date your own sex.  If that’s all you’ve known that is why you choose it,  but if you’re attracted to both why do you feel exclusive?  Me, I’m attracted to people because of who they are and not what they are.  Yes, that isn’t a choice, but it is a conscious decision on my part as to which potential mate I focus more attention on.  Being gay isn’t a choice?  Then how is it that heterosexuality is almost always based on choice?  You belong to a religion that defines being gay as wrong?  You do everything you can to resist “gayness,” no matter what kind of thoughts pop up, no matter how much you like looking at your football buddies in their tight pants.  Society sees it as abnormal?  You will find men afraid to show affection for other men scared that someone will construe it as them being “a homo”.  Two girls make out with each other at a party, or under the influence of alcohol, but will call it “having fun,” say things like, “we’re just best friends.”  If we can openly express these urges of ours, why do we have to worry so much about revealing them. If we don’t know ourselves, it is because of a choice we made.  Choose love, no matter what form it takes, choose happiness over mere survival, and choose above all things to live your life, whether you perceive that life as straight, gay, bi, trans, queer, or something else, pansexual maybe? Whatever you are, choose to fly your flag.  You see someone fall under the weight thrown on them by society, dont just show your support on your facebook status, reach out a hand.  If you see a bully antagonize someone who isn’t that apt to defend themselves, show you care by standing beside them.  Break the cycle, by realizing life is little more than a bunch of choices.


October 26, 2010

This Poem sums up a lot of my recent experiences, explorations.

People wonder why,

Why do I artify?

It’s to make contact with the divine,

Where we can relate through the act of creation.

I validate my own existence by instilling it with purpose,

Namely that which I have artified, that which I call art.

Art is used to give physical form to that which is otherwise,

Frivolous abstraction.

Our entire perception of reality,

Is the canvas with which we work,

So that which we artify is everything?

Nothing more and nothing less.

If we are more than our bodies,

Truly a thing like love can survive,

If our heart isn’t in it.

A heart is just an electrical meat machine.

Can we truly make the claim as creators

In a world that seems to have exhausted

That which we construe as originality?

So art brings us close to god(s) while showing our limitations,

We are merely Re-creators.

If we learn to look through our third eye,

And not just those two which are “real,”

We find unlimited beauty to deal with,

A color palette wider than our expanding universe,

The horizon a piece that truly lasts forever.


October 6, 2010

I jokingly put forward the idea of creating a “penis monologues” after seeing a production of “The Vagina Monologues,” a long time ago now. And I shrugged it off, thinking, “Men don’t need to feel more empowered than they already are.” I saw another production of “The Vagina Monologues,” loved everything about it just as much as I did the first time. And this was also after I grew a bit more educated on gender stuff. Gender Studies is by far my favorite topic, especially for a young man like me who never felt he fit in with what was expected of him as a male.

For some reason I brought up my monologue joke the other night, and my friend Meghan said to me, “There should be, why wouldn’t that be a good idea?” She went on to talk about how male victims tend to be ignored, causing people just to assume they don’t exist. And we discussed what had been persistently brought up in our gender class about the narrow-minded view of gender as only about women. It is so much more than that. How many of my male friends, were victims, or targets of harassment? How many men do I know that struggle to act a certain way, because “they are supposed to?” I began to formulate in my head ideas for survey questions, interviews, and a list of people who could help me with this work.

I have been struggling with a sense of purpose on and off my whole life, who hasn’t? But this project, shows a wonderful higher purpose, something that can effect and hopefully help change for the better the world at large.

If you want to help in some way, or are a man and want to be interviewed let me know.
On Eve Ensler’s V-Day website there is actually a section called V-Men. The stories found within are about men speaking about their experiences as witnesses of violence against women. They discuss how they have become better as advocates against such violence from being able to talk about these difficult experiences, and I hope for something along these lines as I explore all of the struggles of people against society’s gender expectations.