Posts Tagged ‘me’

Merry and Bright: Part One

December 17, 2014

Here’s Part One of Christmas series on how to make it a great and super amazing holiday for you and for all others involved. So in the age of getting most people gift cards, and money being tight all around, chances are, unless you spotted some really primo deals or didn’t buy stuff for yourself on black Friday, you don’t have all that many things to wrap. So the first step to an awesome christmas, is some super snazzy wrapping paper. No, it doesn’t have to be expensive, it just goes in the trash after, which I think is rather horrible, but alas, we can’t save the world at every corner. It is always fun to open presents, which is why i don’t tend to ask for gift cards and the like. Being able to open something up, and to know that someone thought more than a little bit of you when picking out your presents really goes a long way to expand one’s joyful feelings at Christmas time. Now that isn’t to say that the present itself is really the idea behind the day or the family gatherings all around, but what you get or give isn’t as important as the reason you get, or the reason you give. But all the same, my point is, super cool wrapping paper is remembered and can be a talking point, since if your holiday gatherings are anything like mine, I don’t know what to talk to my family about. Now penguins in Santa hats? That’s cute and worthy of a comment or three. Isn’t it?

Looking For Light

September 6, 2014

It’s okay not to be okay,
Or so they say.
But who are they, and why aren’t they here?
Why do they say that?
Do they know, do they think and feel?
Why is it okay?
It doesn’t feel okay,
It never does.
How could it?
People are so different from one another,
So is it really safe to assume,
That one person can experience a moment,
Like any other individual person?
I don’t think it works that way.
It never seems to.
It’s so hard to know yourself,
But when you try to know someone else?
It’s a battle, it’s a struggle, it’s a war at times.
But if the other people are important to your life,
Chances are it will all work itself out.
Stay cool, go with the flow, be yourself.
The only way another can truly know you,
Is if you are you all the time, not just sometimes.
Don’t pretend in order to impress,
Don’t hold it inside.
You have something to say?
Try your damnedest to say it.
Communication is important in all things.
Life, love, happiness, heartbreak, loneliness.
Everything is key, everything is essential.
This is life,
And nobody said it would be a fucking walk in the park,
Although that does sound kind of nice right now.
Just talk it out, write it down, live it to your very fiber.
Don’t forget to remember that the world is bigger than you,
Even though it may not seem so at times,
So harsh, so unforgiving.
Look for light,
And once you find it…


August 30, 2014

Are you tired, stressed, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, just some kind of “whelmed,” happy, sad, angry, insecure, nervous, anxious, or any other variety of emotions? Congratulations! You have just realized what it means to be alive and possess a consciousness. People that don’t feel pain are probably lying to you. People who can’t feel two or more contradictory emotions at the exact same time must be robots programmed to only feel one thing. You can’t just feel one thing, it doesn’t work that way. You can however feel one thing so much more strongly than others, whether it’s faith, love, or connected to your spiritual path, etc. And isn’t that sometimes the best and worst feeling? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. See what I did there? But basically, if you feel so strongly about this thing, if it’s this important to you, try not to lose sight of it, try not to be discouraged, and just let certain things fall as they may. You’ll be glad you did.

I Am Two People

June 3, 2014

Here is the most common conundrum of the modern age: Identity!  We wonder why mental illness and other assorted things run rampant in this day and age.  Yes, I know part of it is because society sucks and doesn’t like to help people as much as it should, but it’s also probably somehow linked to our internet lives.  So many people just dish and dish on the gossip on their fb pages, but some of them don’t even leave their houses and don’t truly live. Others use social media to observe trends and post anonymousish blogs, but could possibly be the most outgoing people you could meet and nobody would be the wiser.  I myself approach each social media, each forum, each youtube video from a completely different place. And therefore, I can truly say I am two people.  How can I not say that?  I am quite the conversationalist at times, but twitter doesn’t let you have a conversation, but if you can figure out how to use it truly boosts all of your other online endeavors.  I think a site like tumblr, while quickly losing relevance, was typically a good way to show your truest self, free from judgment or harassment.  Facebook has become a dirty laundry hang up and not a whole lot more, but all the same, your fb persona is typically different than your out in the world persona.  So it’s not actually bad for your mental health to be these characters, or to take on these roles, but just remember part of your true self must always be made to shine, or life will only disappoint you.  Also your online persona is way more interesting if it actually talks about you going out and experiencing things and seeing people and eating something other than Mickey D’s or some sort of boring processed crap.  “Oh my god, good morning internet!  I just brushed my teeth, it was awesome!”  Does your non computerized self always announce such things?  No way. So yes, you are two people, I hate to break it to you.  What you need to keep in mind is that all of these personas make up the whole, and you have to know when to take the masks off, let down your defenses, and put your life on the line.  You will thank me, and you will thank yourself, and you will feel so much better about everything.  Don’t stop having fun being two people, but remember they have to meet somewhere!

First Summer Playlist

June 3, 2014

1. These Streets- Bastille
2. R.E.V.O- Walk Off The Earth
3. Dance Hall- Modest Mouse
4. Gotta Get Away- The Black Keys
5. Laredo- Band of Horses
6.Love Runs Out- OneRepublic
7. On Melancholy Hill- Gorillaz
8. Paper Thin Walls- Modest Mouse
9. Oblivion- Bastille
10. Counting Stars(OneRepublic cover)- Christina Grimmie
11. I Came As A Rat- Modest Mouse
12. Bullet In The Brain- The Black Keys
13. Sometimes- Walk Off The Earth
14. Icarus- Bastille
15. Can’t Stop- OneRepublic
16. Flawless- The Neighbourhood
17. Speeches- Walk Off The Earth
18. Float On- Modest Mouse
19. Somebody That I Used to Know(Gotye cover)- Walk Off The Earth
20. Fever- The Black Keys

The Continuing Adventures of Things That Happen to Me in Cars….

January 30, 2014

This weekend, I was on my way back home, once more from the strange land of Massachussetts, after driving on a number of completely clear roads, and only about a couple miles from home when I came across a beautiful little snow drift and found my car doing a 360 and then some as it went off the road backwards and sideways. No damage to me, no damage to my car, and only a little bit of damage to my wallet, and I could drive my beast home.  There was no fear, there was no worry, there was only the “Holy Crap,” moment and the “I’m okay,” moment.  It wasn’t like my sleep driving adventure in my white car, it wasn’t like any of the times I got stopped by cops for any reason.  One benefit to living in a small town, a very big one at that, is that if you don’t know someone that can help you, all you have to do is call your family and the know the answer.  Ten minutes in the cold versus, not having a car to drive?  I’ll take ten minutes in the cold, thanks!

The network is growing…

October 22, 2013

surely not by leaps and bounds, but by steps and steps and steps.  But like the old holiday special says, “put one foot in front of the other.”  And repeat.  What can go wrong?  Sure you’ll hit some snags along the way, but after hitting almost nothing but snags for the past while, it is a relief that there is finally some momentum behind the movement that I am building.  My eyes are open to the truth and the love and the opportunities blossoming in some of the surrounding communities.  The rediscovery of haunts in my college town, the bustling burg of Keene, New Hampshire, has made me more friends, acquaintances, and a great number of more open-minded free thinking individuals, within a month, then I have found in Brattleboro within the last year.  I think that’s saying something.  Brattleboro has sort of become a closed system with the exception of prominent night spot, Arkham and a few others.  Yeah business is bad everywhere and all that, but no bars have closed in Keene due to lack of community interest, and sure it’s a college town, but people also know that it may not seem like there’s much to do, but being an adult is about making your own fun instead of waiting for people to hand it to you or invite you out places.  My network: Eyes Open, Project Skybreak, Phoenix, End of The World, or whatever I decide to call it any given day, is on the rise, and maybe that day where we can turn this into the pure mixture of business and pleasure and create something truly incredible in this world is closer than I think.  Some new people and some long lost near and dear friends that have resurfaced really inspire me to get back on this train and deliver the goods.  I still don’t know how to convert this artsy fartsy, revolutionary dream into a business model, but that will come soon enough I’m sure.  

Things I love about Fall

September 20, 2013

Now that the weather is changing I am excited to usher in the return of my favorite season:  Autumn.  Though in New England, I never know what the seasons are gonna be like, our weather is just so erratic at the best of times.  I am not opposed to t shirts and shorts, on the contrary, most of my shirts are t shirts, but the changing temperatures facing us in Autumn make me feel more fancy dresswise. After it was too hot to wear most of my nicer clothes, this is a welcome change, time to break out all the flannels and button down shirts, and sweaters.  Time to brew up the cocoa, and get bombarded around every turn with all the yummy pumpkin flavored goodness, such as Pumpkinhead, Coffee and Pumpkin Spice eggo waffles, oh and let’s not forget the pumpkin ice cream, my god, life is good in the fall.  The leaves haven’t changed yet, as evidenced by my random destination ride today in my little red car, but i had nothing better to do, and fall is the best time for random drives to nowhere in particular.  Apple picking anyone?  Yes, I love being out in the orchard getting lost in the trees, pretending I’m in nature, when I can see nothing but trees on all sides.  Then there’s that classic moment when you pull an apple down from the tree and rub it on your shirt, and take that first fresh bite, the experience you can’t get from store bought apples. Oh and let’s not forget to mention apple cider.  And Autumn reaches it’s high point around the harvest, samhain or halloween or what have you.  I never do enough to celebrate it, maybe this year I’ll actually find a costume party to go to who knows?  But know that you’ll also probably find me out on a hill somewhere, nursing a cocoa and staring up at the heavens some night. And that is why fall is perfect. 

Nothing To Do

July 6, 2013
Nothing is a paradox of itself

A playlist that i concocted with a couple of my awesome followers in mind, (Well whoever it’s for I want all to see it.)

1. Good Morning, Good Morning- The Beatles

2. All Along The Watchtower- Jimi Hendrix

3. Cinnamon Girl- Neil Young

4.Myxomatosis- Radiohead

5. Judas- Cage The Elephant

6. Feel Good Hit of The Summer- Queens of The Stone Age

7. Heartbreaker- Led Zeppelin

8. (You Will) Set The World on Fire- Bowie

9. Island In The Sun- Weezer

10. Sanctified- Nine Inch Nails

11. Dream On- Depeche Mode

12. Subterranean Homesick Alien- Radiohead

13.Darkshines- Muse

14. Gobbledigook- Sigur Ros

15. You (Radiohead Cover)- Christopher O’Riley

I hope you like this as much as I liked making it. 🙂

The Bends

July 6, 2013

I’m going to start doing a feature on my favorite albums, new and old, for you nice internet folks.  the persistent New England heatwave of the last 13 days or so has made it harder to let myself sit in the computer in this hot house and write any sort of awesome bloggles, but here it is what I wrote with the intention of posting here about a week ago.  Enjoy!

Considered by many to be one of their more normal albums.  Maybe sonically, but thematically its just as rife with remorse, helplessness and alienation, just as plagued by the human condition, in all its instability and heartbreak and hopelessness, with a faint dash of hopeful, in the fact that we can at least carry on from these hard moments.  But that being said, it also contains music prime for singing along to, and songs that sound like they would fit in on standard mainstream radio, and in fact they do.  But the sheer alienation of it, the bleak depression, the fuzzed out guitars and extremely tight rhythms, reflect very much even at this stage, on the band that never fails to exceed expectations or defy conventions.  Music for the sake of music.  You get bittersweet ballads like Fake Plastic Trees, High and Dry, and Black Star,  a foreshadowing of OK Computer in the awesome opener, Planet Telex, and raucous numbers such as Just, My Iron Lung, and the title track of course.  And close it off with a haunting number like Street Spirit(fade out), to cause you coming away from your listen, unsure just how you’re supposed to be feeling.  Depressing or not its an amazing album, and I actually like depressing music more when I’m happy, so as weird as this sounds, just like The Smiths which I talked about a lot before, Radiohead is my go to happy music.  It’s just good, that’s all there is to it.